The Unexpected

I know it's been a while since the last time I blogged, but I actually have a very good reason why I've been MIA lately. On Wednesday January 11, my life changed ... I lost my job.

Ever since that day, I've been kind of in and out of a "mini depression". I was laid off from my full time job because they didn't need my position anymore. I knew this was a possibility for some time, but I didn't think it was going to happen now! Especially not in the middle of our wedding preparation.

The last week or so has been kind of rough - emotionally and mentally. Initially, I found it hard to see the positive side of this recent turn of events. I was petrified, shocked and just overall lost. As much as I wanted to believe that things were going to be alright, I didn't. The first day it happened, all I wanted to do was sleep and pretend that this was all a dream. That when I wake up, everything will go back to normal.

The following day after the lay off, I attended a morning mass. Because of my hectic schedule (two jobs, family, friends and Mark), I had been missing church. At first I felt guilty for not going, but then after a few weeks, I didn't think too much about it. I think this lay off was God's wake up call to me!

The priest's homily that morning was very simple. His message was about how we shouldn't use God as a good luck charm. We shouldn't only "take Him out" when when we need Him, then put Him away when we don't need him anymore. This message hit home for me. That one hour felt so good in more ways that one. After I left the church, I felt comforted and at peace. I knew that He's got me and that I have nothing to worry about.

At the moment, I have applied to a few jobs and trying my best to not dwell too much on the situation. Because of what happened, I am now able to spend more time with my family, myself and of course, Him. So I can't really say that it's been a negative experience overall. Also, I am very lucky to have the best family, friends and fiancé. They have all been very supportive and continue to cheer me on. I can't thank them enough for all their love.

I am trying my very best to see this event more as an opportunity instead of a problem. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm still a little worried sometimes, but I also know that God has great plans for me. He has never failed us, and I know that somehow, someway, He will make things work out. I just have to keep on trusting Him.