... will you still miss me?


It has been a pretty busy week for Mark and I. Last week he was busy preparing for his exams this week. As for me, I was busy doing more wedding planning! =)

Last Saturday, I was having an "emotional" day I guess and for some reason, I just felt like we haven't seen each other for so long! We didn't see each other last weekend because of Father's Day and  because of our individual family gatherings. I was kind of giving him a hard time that he doesn't miss me "as much". LOL!

Yes, I know, what's wrong with me right? Then he said something to me that made me really think ... "do you think when we're married, you'd still miss me this much?"

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Disc Jockey Troubles

We were scheduled to meet our very first potential DJ last Saturday. In fact, Mark and I drove all the way to Vaughan to meet him at his office.

Initially, I had told him that we may be a little late because Mark has volunteer work. But it turned out that he was able to skip volunteering that day. We were at his office by 2:45pm. It turned out that he wasn't there. One of his co-workers advised us that he should be coming soon. Thinking that he was expecting us more for 3:30pm, we waited until 3:30pm for him. When he didn't show up, we asked one of his co-workers if he could call him and find out where he's at. It turned out that he was expecting us at another location.

Obviously there was some misunderstanding because he never indicated meeting him anywhere else other than his office. Thinking that he will at least email and apologize for the confusion, I waited until today to see if he would try to contact me. When he didn't, I emailed him expressing my frustrations. He replies back and does apologize, but pretty much states that if we want to go forward with this, he will refer us to one of his co-workers instead. Talk about lack of professionalism. He obviously doesn't want to deal with us anymore! WTF! >_<

Let's just say we didn't end up going with them ... as my co-worker would say, "KMA" (Kiss My A**)!

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Perfect Love

One more month and Marky and I will be celebrating our 9 years! =) Nine wonderful years! Who would have thought we would get this far.

This past weekend, for some reason, I started to get "cold feet". I was worried about what's to come. Questions just kept on popping in my head:
  • "Will I be a good wife?"
  • "What if he gets "sick" of me because we'll see each other everyday?"
  • "Is this really where I want to be?"
  • "This is forever!"
  • "Am I missing out since he's my first boyfriend?"
It was really slow at my part-time job this weekend, so it gave me a lot of time to think. Don't get me wrong, I am still super excited about our wedding. It's what I have always wanted for such a long time.
thinking things through ...
Doing a lot of thinking made me realize something though. No one can surpass Mark for all the sacrifices he's done for our relationship for almost 9 years. Driving back and forth from Mississauga to Guelph isn't easy, especially during winter. But yet, he had never complained or given up. 

As happy and enthusiastic I am, I actually have a really bad temper and Mark has surely seen both. Yet, he still loves me despite of it. Every time I would make a mistake and feel bad about myself, I would ask him ... "do you still love me?" And he would answer me with, "I love you even more."

The last point of this reflection solidified what I was already thinking. =) "Be Grateful". I was worrying for nothing. It's not everyday that you find someone who may not be perfect, but is perfect for you. Someone who would do anything and everything for your sake and the sake of the relationship. Someone who loves you just because.

I am truly blessed to have found a perfect love. Not only in Mark, but in God.

Perfect Love - By Max Lucado

Isn’t it good to know that even when we don’t love with a perfect love, he does? God always nourishes what is right. He always applauds what is right. He has never done wrong, led one person to do wrong, or rejoiced when anyone did wrong. For he is love, and love “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6, NASB).

God passes the test of 1 Corinthians 13:6. Well, he should; he drafted it.

So where does this leave us? Perhaps with a trio of reminders. When it comes to love:

Be careful.

Until love is stirred, let God’s love be enough for you.There are seasons when God allows us to feel the frailty of human love so we’ll appreciate the strength of his love. Didn’t he do this with David? Saul turned on him. Michal, his wife, betrayed him. Jonathan and Samuel were David’s friends, but they couldn’t follow him into the wilderness. Betrayal and circumstances left David alone. Alone with God. And, as David discovered, God was enough. David wrote these words in a desert: “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you … My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods” (Psalm 63:3, 5)

Be prayerful.

What if it’s too late? Specifically, what if you’re married to someone you don’t love—or who doesn’t love you? Many choose to leave. That may be the step you take. But if it is, take at least a thousand others first. And bathe every one of those steps in prayer. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. Ask God to help you love as he loves. “God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love” (Romams 5:5, CEV). Ask everyone you know to pray for you. Your friends. Your family. Your church leaders. Get your name on every prayer list available. And, most of all, pray for and, if possible, with your spouse. Ask the same God who raised the dead to resurrect the embers of your love.

Be grateful.

Be grateful for those who love you. Be grateful for those who have encouraged you to do what is right and applauded when you did. Do you have people like that in your world? If so, you are doubly blessed. Be grateful for them. And be grateful for your Father in heaven.

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I love roller coasters!

I know that for the longest time, I have been guilty of this - lack of patience. Being the control freak that I am, I often have a tendency to want things to happen now.

I've struggled with this over and over again. In fact, there are still days that I struggle with it. When Mark and I started going out, we decided to take it day-by-day. We didn't know how long our relationship would last and look where we are now! Then after the 7 years mark passed, I started to get antsy. We talked about the wedding, but I wanted to know when it would happen.

Now, we are finally engaged and I just want our day to come so that we can finally start our life together.

Again, God has found a way for me to learn about patience ...

Waiting patiently in happy ignorance - By Terry A. Modica

In today’s Gospel passage, Jesus says: "I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now." Oh please, Jesus, tell me now; send me an email!

We don't like feeling uncertain about the future. We want to know about God's plans about how or even IF our prayers will be answered. We want to know how things will turn out if we say yes to a new job or a ministry or a challenging donation of our time. We want to know how long we must continue trying to evangelize others before they finally wake up and repent, especially when their worldly ways are causing us problems.

In our chats with God, we say: "Okay, if I do what you're asking, what will happen?" or "Will this trial ever end?" or "Ahem, please explain further so I can base my decision on how logical this sounds."

Being ignorant of the details can be scary. We know there's a bigger picture, but all we've got to work with are a few small puzzle pieces. We're not in control. Ohhhmygosh, this means we have to trust God!

What seems to be a frightening silence is really a huge gift. Imagine if God were to sit you down in a nice quiet prayer room and display on the wall a video that shows everything he's going to do in your life: everything he's asking of you, what you'll have to endure to accomplish it, all the hurdles you'll face, how he'll be stretching you beyond what's comfortable and familiar. Do you really want to know all this? Even though the movie would also show the fun of it, the good times, God's helping hand, the wonderful fruits and rewards, etc., wouldn't you break out in a cold sweat panic attack? I know I would.

We should thank God for our ignorance! It's a great relief to trustingly let the Holy Spirit have full control. Jesus says in this Gospel message: "The Spirit of Truth will guide you to all truth." The Holy Spirit will "announce" to us whatever we need to know, not when WE want to know it, but when it truly is the perfect time to know it.

Life's greatest adventures come from trusting God in the midst of ignorance. Have you ever ridden a roller coaster that has surprising twists and turns? It's popular with riders who like the thrill of not knowing where they're going, where's the next dip, the next spin, the next upside-down loop. The life of a Christian is just as thrilling! Don't worry. Even if you don't like roller coasters, it can be a safe adventure. God is your seat belt – he holds you in his lap very securely.

For safety, please don't try to climb out before the ride is over.

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