One more month and Marky and I will be celebrating our 9 years! =) Nine wonderful years! Who would have thought we would get this far.
This past weekend, for some reason, I started to get "cold feet". I was worried about what's to come. Questions just kept on popping in my head:
- "Will I be a good wife?"
- "What if he gets "sick" of me because we'll see each other everyday?"
- "Is this really where I want to be?"
- "This is forever!"
- "Am I missing out since he's my first boyfriend?"
It was really slow at my part-time job this weekend, so it gave me a lot of time to think. Don't get me wrong, I am still super excited about our wedding. It's what I have always wanted for such a long time.
thinking things through ...
Doing a lot of thinking made me realize something though. No one can surpass Mark for all the sacrifices he's done for our relationship for almost 9 years. Driving back and forth from Mississauga to Guelph isn't easy, especially during winter. But yet, he had never complained or given up.
As happy and enthusiastic I am, I actually have a really bad temper and Mark has surely seen both. Yet, he still loves me despite of it. Every time I would make a mistake and feel bad about myself, I would ask him ... "do you still love me?" And he would answer me with, "I love you even more."
The last point of this reflection solidified what I was already thinking. =) "Be Grateful". I was worrying for nothing. It's not everyday that you find someone who may not be perfect, but is perfect for you. Someone who would do anything and everything for your sake and the sake of the relationship. Someone who loves you just because.
I am truly blessed to have found a perfect love. Not only in Mark, but in God.
Perfect Love - By Max Lucado
Isn’t it good to know that even when we don’t love with a perfect love, he does? God always nourishes what is right. He always applauds what is right. He has never done wrong, led one person to do wrong, or rejoiced when anyone did wrong. For he is love, and love “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6, NASB).
God passes the test of 1 Corinthians 13:6. Well, he should; he drafted it.
So where does this leave us? Perhaps with a trio of reminders. When it comes to love:
Be careful.
Until love is stirred, let God’s love be enough for you.There are seasons when God allows us to feel the frailty of human love so we’ll appreciate the strength of his love. Didn’t he do this with David? Saul turned on him. Michal, his wife, betrayed him. Jonathan and Samuel were David’s friends, but they couldn’t follow him into the wilderness. Betrayal and circumstances left David alone. Alone with God. And, as David discovered, God was enough. David wrote these words in a desert: “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you … My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods” (Psalm 63:3, 5)
Be prayerful.
What if it’s too late? Specifically, what if you’re married to someone you don’t love—or who doesn’t love you? Many choose to leave. That may be the step you take. But if it is, take at least a thousand others first. And bathe every one of those steps in prayer. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. Ask God to help you love as he loves. “God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love” (Romams 5:5, CEV). Ask everyone you know to pray for you. Your friends. Your family. Your church leaders. Get your name on every prayer list available. And, most of all, pray for and, if possible, with your spouse. Ask the same God who raised the dead to resurrect the embers of your love.
Be grateful.
Be grateful for those who love you. Be grateful for those who have encouraged you to do what is right and applauded when you did. Do you have people like that in your world? If so, you are doubly blessed. Be grateful for them. And be grateful for your Father in heaven.
