I know that for the longest time, I have been guilty of this - lack of patience. Being the control freak that I am, I often have a tendency to want things to happen now.
I've struggled with this over and over again. In fact, there are still days that I struggle with it. When Mark and I started going out, we decided to take it day-by-day. We didn't know how long our relationship would last and look where we are now! Then after the 7 years mark passed, I started to get antsy. We talked about the wedding, but I wanted to know when it would happen.
Now, we are finally engaged and I just want our day to come so that we can finally start our life together.
Again, God has found a way for me to learn about patience ...
Waiting patiently in happy ignorance - By Terry A. Modica
In today’s Gospel passage, Jesus says: "I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now." Oh please, Jesus, tell me now; send me an email!
We don't like feeling uncertain about the future. We want to know about God's plans about how or even IF our prayers will be answered. We want to know how things will turn out if we say yes to a new job or a ministry or a challenging donation of our time. We want to know how long we must continue trying to evangelize others before they finally wake up and repent, especially when their worldly ways are causing us problems.
In our chats with God, we say: "Okay, if I do what you're asking, what will happen?" or "Will this trial ever end?" or "Ahem, please explain further so I can base my decision on how logical this sounds."
Being ignorant of the details can be scary. We know there's a bigger picture, but all we've got to work with are a few small puzzle pieces. We're not in control. Ohhhmygosh, this means we have to trust God!
What seems to be a frightening silence is really a huge gift. Imagine if God were to sit you down in a nice quiet prayer room and display on the wall a video that shows everything he's going to do in your life: everything he's asking of you, what you'll have to endure to accomplish it, all the hurdles you'll face, how he'll be stretching you beyond what's comfortable and familiar. Do you really want to know all this? Even though the movie would also show the fun of it, the good times, God's helping hand, the wonderful fruits and rewards, etc., wouldn't you break out in a cold sweat panic attack? I know I would.
We should thank God for our ignorance! It's a great relief to trustingly let the Holy Spirit have full control. Jesus says in this Gospel message: "The Spirit of Truth will guide you to all truth." The Holy Spirit will "announce" to us whatever we need to know, not when WE want to know it, but when it truly is the perfect time to know it.
