Realization

After a long conversation with Mark last night, it looks like we have finally come to a decision about where we will be living in the future. He is planning on getting a job around where he currently lives now. Which makes sense because larger cities means greater population, which equals to more crimes. He will have a lot more opportunities there as he pursues a career in law enforcement.

However, our ultimate goal is to hopefully live just outside of the city in a suburban area. There we will have the best of both worlds. A home close enough to his job and possibly my job, but small and quiet enough to raise a family.

Lene and the City ...

It's funny because I was actually born in a big city. I lived in a big city until I was about 8 years old. I didn't mind the city life too much. I think it was because I was too young to really understand how big the city was. I was happy enough playing around the small neighborhood where I grew up. Then, as we migrated here to Canada, my family decided to start our new life in a much smaller town. Mind you I don't think they have much choice since my dad's job was here. But as I look back, I am so happy that God brought my parents to live here. I feel really fortunate to have been given a chance to experience a life outside of the city.

But it looks like the city will always be a part of me. I hate to admit this, but I actually have a love/hate relationship with the city. Okay, I'll start with why I hate it first, because I hate leaving a sentence on a negative note. =) I hate living in the city because of the congestion, the traffic, the noise and basically just because there's just too many people. Now, why do I love the city? The opportunities. The places to see, restaurants/grocery stores to get food from and basically just being able to have the varieties or options available in everything. See, I see the good side of being in the city too. =)

Change can be good ... right?
So why am I babbling about all this? Because it just hit me this morning that this is it ... My life is about to change! "Duh!" I know is what you are thinking. But I guess for the longest time, I was clinging to a hope that maybe I'll be able to convince Mark to move to a small town. Not just in the suburbs, but a good a hour away from the city. But realistically, he was right. That one hour commute is not easy at all. Especially when you are commuting with a few hundreds, maybe thousands of people everyday.

I guess I'm just having mixed feelings right now. Half of me is ecstatic to finally be with Mark forever. I can't wait to start our lives together. The other half of me is petrified! Nervous of everything else that comes with that change. I'm nervous about living in a city again (temporarily) until we can afford a house in the suburbs. I'm nervous about driving around all that congestion again. Most of all, I'm going to miss the small town life. I'm going to miss seeing the countryside, seeing and driving around it. I'm going to miss all the simple things a small town has to offer. The peacefulness and quietness of the place. The feeling that not everyone is always in a hurry. I'm going to miss the place I called home for the last twenty years.

But I know that no matter how hard the changes will be for me, it will all be worth it. Why? Because I will be with the love of my life. I can handle it all because we have each other. Maybe God's giving me this opportunity to grow as well. To appreciate what the city has to offer that a small town can't. I just have to keep hanging on to that faith that He knows best. He knows exactly how I feel and He knows what He's doing in my life. =)

So there you have it, my "mini-morning-meltdown". Ha! Ha! Ha! Man, life just never ceases to amaze me. You just never know what it's going to give you next!

-Lene